I have lived unreal life and wasted my time
After all, i only get more stress. I don't focus on my work as i used to be. I feel bad.
But i also know feeling is real but........ nothing will happen in real. I hoped and disappointed.
1st relationship with Ved: I really falled in love with him. It is really great time when i meet him on net. He is the 1st man can give me courage to say/act what i never do that before. I used to have love time with him. But he is also the man make me hopeless with his action. He never does real thing for me. I had a difficult time to accept it and let him go out my heart. Now i still contact with him as friend. I also care about him but i am not upset because of him anymore. Maybe the worst thing came and went pass. Nothing from him can make me upset anymore. But he still makes me happy now after all. I don't know why.........
2nd relationship with Bimal: when we began, he did what Ved never did for me. I don't know how it can happen in my life. I met 2 man as white and black. 1 say sweet words but never do them. 1 act them without word. I also thought i would meet right person after breaking up Ved. But i disappointed one more time. Bimal is serious but also harsh with me. Bimal has everything and needs love. But his love makes me stress. I can't breath with this. And i wondered if he really loves me how he is harsh me a lot. I tried my best but i am failed.
I am getting my experience about net life. It makes my life colorful. And it is time to come back real life. I am really know the magic love will not happen with me. Maybe alone life is good for me.
Thanks for all anyhow!!!!!!!!
